DENOBULA PRIME — CENTRAL INNOVATION CITADEL – In a quiet but confident transmission from Denobula Prime, the Denobulan Engineering Guild has released two new neural streaming devices: the Neural Stick and Neural Stick Plus. Replacing the wedge-like, adhesive-reliant NeuroExpress devices that plagued the lower shelves of subspace markets for cycles, these new sticks aim to simplify and smarten every domestic viewscreen — whether in a Federation flat, a Bajoran monastery, or a Tellarite dive bar.
The sticks, measuring just under four centimeters in length and weighing less than a Starfleet-issue ration bar, now slot directly into your holoscreen’s standard interface port. Gone are the unsightly power bricks and dangling connection tendrils. These sleek instruments draw their charge from a standard auxiliary USB receptor — unless, of course, you’re unfortunate enough to own a Klingon-made television, in which case external power is still advised.
Despite their modest design, Denobulan sticks perform admirably in simulations. The standard Neural Stick delivers seamless 1080p transmissions of entertainment files from across the quadrant, while the Plus model enables full 4K holovid projection, complete with HDR10 and spatial-audio compatibility. Neither model supports Dolby Vision — a high-fidelity standard typically reserved for top-tier Borg entertainment nodes — but both do incorporate unpublicized Denobulan acoustic enhancements, allegedly adapted from old sonar-fusion technology once used to soothe space-borne lobe creatures.
While the interface remains refreshingly ad-free compared to the cluttered outputs of Borg-designed alternatives and Dominion knock-offs, a minor glitch was reported: an unexpected advert for Andorian wall paint briefly emitted sound through the interface’s lateral sensor array. “It only happened once,” said one user, “but I felt judged by the color swatches.”
Perhaps the most celebrated update is the redesigned Denobulan Remote-Assist, replacing the infamously mute Express model. Now with voice controls, physical volume buttons, and TV power toggles, users no longer need to rely on errant tribble-like searches for their auxiliary remotes. Still, some quirks persist. “I asked it to resume ‘Murder on Risa,’ and it jumped to a Tellarite cooking program instead,” reported one frustrated culinary pacifist.
The Denobulans are not attempting to replace full neural integration systems like the Vulcan Mindstream Series or the Borg HiveHub. But for those still clutching to outdated smart panels, or simply seeking to upgrade without draining their latinum pouches, the Neural Stick series presents a logical — and delightfully compact — solution.
